the end.

i have twelve bracelets of all different colors on my left wrist. one i had when i arrived in italy, and ten i have added in these six months since i left boise, idaho. they are the landmarks of the places i've been, the memories i have had. to me, they are like the notches in the doorway of a childhood home, marking how i've grown up. to date, i have a bracelet from slovenia, croatia, france, two from sardegna, two from torino, one from verona, two from italian friends, and one from aosta. on the outside, it just looks like a beautiful rainbow of thread ... it's the memories attached to each one that you don't see. the one i bought while with my Sardinian host sister on exchange week, the one that marks the visit of my best friend, the one i wished upon while my italian teacher tied it on my wrist, the ones i picked out on vacation with my family, the one from an extraordinary day with other AFSers. so much of this experience is on the inside ... what you don't see. i once told someone that if you looked at my everyday schedule as an exchange student, you might find it anticlimactic, maybe evern boring. that's because the biggest and most exciting changes have happened on the inside, not on the outside.

tomorrow i will take a 7:30 train to torino from aosta. i'll be leaving my home. here, i've grown up. it's seen me through good times and bad, and has become another place to call home. here, i have a life ... it may not be as normal as a regular italian teenager's or like my life in idaho, but it's a life. in 22 hours, i'll have to do what i did six months ago, half a world away: leave my home. i don't see this as an end, though, because as surely as i knew i'd be coming back to boise in july, i know i'll be back here one day. i'll visit my host family, try to look up old friends, hit up the english pub and familiar gelato spots. i was sad when i left boise, because i was leaving my home of 17 years for a place totally unknown. now, going back, i'm doing the same. my life in boise feels like a dream i've woken up from and no matter how hard i try to sleep, i can't remember what it was about.

when i go back, some people will only see the part of me that's changed on the outside ... maybe the fact that all this gelato has made me gain weight, my hair is longer, that i have new clothes and things i didn't have before. the true friends of mine (i think you know who you are) will go deeper ... realize how much i have changed on the inside as well. they'll talk to me and find out that my dreams and goals have changed, how i light up when i talk about my life here, how much i appreciate them ... how i don't take life for granted. they might not know what it is, but they'll realize that something about me is different ... apart from my shell. those are the friends i'm interested in keeping, that i've fought to keep contact with and who, when i go back, it'll feel natural to be around. they'll understand that when i'm moody, that i am missing maria or aosta. they'll understand that when i am restless, it's because my wanderlust has increased during these months and staying home doesn't seem like normal. they'll know that when i cry, it's not because i don't want to be in idaho with them, it's just because i am homesick. some of you will see that ... some of you won't.

i thought i'd come out of this experience knowing who i am. newsflash: i still don't. i'm a puzzle that the owner doesn't even know how to assemble, but experience by experience, try by try, i'm figuring out the pieces and putting them together. i've matured. i have a rough sketch of what i want to do with my life. i have a best friend who just happens to live half the way around the world, in Panama. i know how to function when i'm the odd one out. i can travel and handle myself in sticky situations. i can do things without the help of my parents or friends. i can depend on myself. i can work my ass off and achieve my goals. i can speak two languages. i can eat good things and not care about gaining weight. i can care more about what the inside looks like than the outside. i have something in common with over 200 other teenagers from all around the world. i can go to turkey, thailand, argentina, iceland, paraguay, finland, hong kong, and have places in which i am welcome. i can do so many things i couldn't do before.

it's funny. i was looking at pictures the other day of my first days in aosta. it was like looking at a stranger. i knew it was me and i don't look different, but i can't even remember who i was back then. i know it sounds corny and i'm rolling my eyes even writing it, but it is true. i think we all change, some in different ways than others. if you sat me down today and asked me to make a list of how i've changed as a person, i couldn't do it. i don't know how i've changed ... i just have. who i am seems natural now, and it's wierd to think that i was ever that other person.

so here we go, it's the end. there is so much i want to say, but not enough space. i don't see my departure from italy on sunday as an ending ... just the beginning of another experience, another way to change, adapt. italy and it's inhabitants and culture will always be in my heart, but there is more space to fill, and i feel like it is my duty to move on and let others have their go at living in aosta, italy. i'll come back, of course, but it will never feel the same after i have left, like boise won't feel the same when i return. here it is, guys, the end. not of this experience -- that i'll always carry with me -- but to this blog in italy. i'll update on what it is like to be home and such, but after that, i'm done. it's time to move on and know when to let go. i'm planning to do another exchange during university ... this time to india, thaliand, or china. if that happens i'll post a link on here. until then, i thank all of you. for the ones who have read every post, since the beginning. for the ones who have contacted me to let me know they are leaving for their own journeys soon. for the ones who are out there that haven't contacted me but like my blog anyways. thank you, all of you.

from idaho to italy ... from potatoes to pasta, searching for peace of mind. i've found it. i hope you do too.

lately...

in the last few weeks there has been a buttload of things that have happened, so i figured i'd update you on what i've been doing and then do another post on the end of this adventure. smart, right? thought so.

i finished school a while ago, on the 11th of June. it was an amazing feeling, walking out of my school building, knowing i'd never have to sit through four hours of latin again. the not-so-great feeling came later, at the cena della classe when (almost) my whole class got together for pizza as an end-of-the-school-year thing. i knew i'd see some of my closer friends again before i left, but it was definitely saddening to know that i'd might never see other familiar faces again. it was the beginning of the good-byes.

my best friend came to visit. it was the beginning of the hellos. i don't really have words to describe it, how many emotions there were. i went to go pick her up at the train station in turin, where she and her family were taking a direct train in from venice. i saw her sister first, and then saw her carrying her suitcase off the train. from there, it was basically like a Lifetime movie ... sappy and clichè. i wouldn't have wanted it any way else though. we ran towards each other, finally meeting in the middle with a womph and started crying into each other's shoulders. it was pretty emotional, as you can imagine. what we did during the 37 hours we were together wasn't important, it was the fact that after six months, it felt like no time had passed at all. i'd be lying if i didn't say i was worried about there being awkward moments and silences, but i didn't need to have worried, because there weren't any. at all. she's my best friend, and if spending 6 months apart, halfway around the world didn't change our friendship, nothing will. it was definitely a good two days.

i hung out with intercultura kids in turin for the day, and we did our last shopping, swam in the fountains (illegal here in italia, but like we cared), and just had a fun day hanging out together. it was weird knowing that it would be the last time seeing some of them (semester kids and year kids are in different hotels in rome), and that this would be my last go at turin before i left.

my host brother came back from his year abroad in the united states, and the first thing we all did was go out for pizza. i like to think that him and i hit it off pretty quickly, and after only a week we basically already acted like siblings. i think i was really happy to have another sibling in the house, because i think i've been a little lonely without my sister these past six months. i definitely took her for granted, although to be fair, Nicholas doesn't steal my clothes and wear them to school without asking. at least i hope not.

i went with my host family on a five day trip, where we spent three days in slovenia and croatia, a day in trieste and verona, and then a day at gardaland. slovenia and croatia were absolutely amazing, and i have to say, i will definitely be going back to visit these countries when i backpack through europe. we mostly hit up the coast of slovenia (piran, koper) and spent a day exploring the northwest coast of croatia (rovinj, pula) and croatia was definitely my favorite. we headed to trieste (also very pretty, i can see why it inspired the writings of james joyce), and then to verona. verona may be one of my favorite cities in italy, although i only spent two hours there ... i'll be adding that to the list of places to go back to. then, we hit up gardaland, the largest theme park in italy and in europe. we were there from open to close, for thirteen hours. it was so much fun ... we went on all of the huge rides and got soaked on the water ones. okay, i started it. anyways, it was a very fun ending to an overall great trip ... it was nice to have a last voyage before my departure.

i packed my suitcase ... the limit is 20 kg (44 lbs) and i made it with 19 kg! although my poor suitcase looks like it is going to explode. let's hope it doesnt.

that is basically it as far as what i've been up to these past few weeks.
hold on for another post about my feelings and stuff.

i fratelli del mondo.

afs family: end camp 2011.

at the beginning of june i headed to castelnuovo nigra (near ivrea) for the end-of-the-year camp. 68 exchange students from Valle d'Aosta (haha, it was just Maria and me from VdA), Liguria and Piedmonte went to the camp, which lasted about four days. i met tons of new people, something i always love about AFS events, and made some stronger connections with people i didn't know very well. we were all staying in this old convent, and i shared a room with Gina, a year-student from Ecuador. we divided up into sub-groups and talked about how our exchange was, ups and downs, blah blah blah. if it weren't for my fellow exchangers, the whole trip would have been super boring. this whole orientation was pretty emotional for everyone, since people started realizing that we only have a month left until we leave. what really hit me what how much i am going to miss everyone in AFS. i've said it before, but i will say it again: AFS kids are your family. you learn, grow, change together. you help each other and become like brothers and sisters. what is amazing to me is how easy it is. i met Matias, another semester kid from Argentina at Rome orientation but only actually started talking to him at the camp, and within a day we were acting like we'd known each other forever. it's like that with everyone ... we have so much to discuss and connect about, it is a challenge not to end up like a family. before i came on this trip, the friend i had that lived furthest away from me was in virginia. and now i have brothers and sisters from istanbul to australia, from chile to iceland. it's strange to me that i might never see any of them again -- it's a hard thing to deal with. we may look completely different and speak more than ten different languages in between us, we may pray to different versions of God and live in completely different cultures, but we are a family. we are brothers and sisters of the world, and this is such a beautiful thing. it's one of the things i am most grateful for from AFS.

anyways, the second night we had like a disco/dance thing that lasted until 2 o'clock in the morning when all the volunteers came to yell at us. only AFSers would party in a convent. it was actually really cool though, to see how everyone from different countries danced. the latina in me kicked in and i started flailing my hips about like i was shakira. i was convinced i looked completely stupid, but i guess i didn't because people were cheering me on and i recieved several notes about my kick ass dance moves. haha, and someone didn't believe i was american. because americans usually can't move their hips like that, i guess. hmmm, what else? the food sucked a little so my friends and i ate a whole jar of nutella in two days. it's italy. oh, and this camp was so insane that i lost my voice a little, which i guess is kind of hardcore. or not. probably not. there was also a talent show in which i preformed the "napolean dynamite" dance with two other american friends. we're just cool like that i guess. oh! i was complemented by tons of people on my italian, anda lot of people thought i was there for the year program because my italian was so good. and apparently i have completely dropped my english accent when i talk, so that is cool. at the end, when everyone left, tons of people were crying, because the next time we'll see everyone is when we are all in rome, going home. i have a feeling that rome is going to be one tearful, sleepless adventure of it's own, but we'll cross that aqueduct when we come to it.

for now, summer is fast approaching as school ends in two days (thank god!), and with it comes the arrival of my best friend from boise (silent freakout here), and the arrival of my host brother from his year abroad in South Dakota.

la lingua, la scuola, ed i miei amici.

language: a lot of people have been asking me how my italian skills have been coming along, and it is hard to answer. on one hand, i speak italian all the time (unless talking to friends and family back home), text in italian, go watch movies in italian, and am halfway through an italian novel. i guess a lot of people would say that by these standards, my ability to speak italian is pretty good. the thing about learning a language, however, is that you are always learning. i speak italian pretty well for only having been here for about 4 months, but in a situation like this, it is a survival thing: just something you have to do. you keep getting better and better, and at the same time you realize that you still have so much more to learn. i wish i'd chosen to do the year program if not only because it would have given me more time to really perfect my italian. there are some funny anecdotes though:

1. About a month ago we had Easter break, and the weeks before it I kept talking to classmates about what they are going to do, and vice versa. I kept saying, "Sono eccitando per la vacanze di Pasqua!" (I'm excited for Easter break!) only to have my Italian teacher tell me a few weeks later that eccitando means a different sort of excited. so basically for weeks i'd been telling my classmates that i get sexually aroused by trips to Genova and going to an Italian mass. go me.

2. I keep saying "Sto buona!" (I'm good) instead of "Sto bene!" (I'm good). Technically buona is only used when talking about food, so basically I keep accidentally saying "I'm delicious!" combine that with what is above, and they must really think i-da-ho.

school: let's just say i miss boise high school a lot. italian school is focused on three things: tests, homework, and oral exams. forget the clubs, the sports, the ceramics or orchestra or journalism class. there are about nine subjects that are mandatory for all students in the specific grade, and because the teacehrs move classrooms instead of the students, you sit in the same white room with the same students all day long. granted, i get off at 1:20 p.m., 12:30 p.m., and 11:30 a.m. various days of the week, but that also means i have the PLEASURE of going to school on saturdays. oh yes: pure gold. while italian school does have impressive language classes (all my classmates take and are basically fluent in french, latin and english), teaching is composed of lectures and note-taking. i have to say, i definitely prefer my american high school to my italian one, if not also for the reason that here there are 5 years of high school and the toilets are porcelain holes in the floor. it makes me very grateful to go to boise high, however, because i love getting to take a sociology class or becoming co-editor-in-chief of my newspaper (shoutout to my co-editors bailey and aubree!) italian school is difficult, and i personally prefer to work hard ... and play hard too. it makes me love going to school, whereas here i dread it. i love the brief 10 minute breaks to talk to my friends or such, but other than that i just stay in class and read my book in italian. being here, however, has made me wish the USA put a more of an emphasis on learning foreign language in schools, but I think English-speaking countries are a little lazy when it comes to that because for us, we don't have to learn another language to be successful like the rest of the world has to learn English.

friends: making friends on exchange can be easy and difficult. easy in the sense that, because you are an exchange student, a lot of people are interested in you. after a month or two, though, you aren't new anymore. you actually have to start and try to make friends with classmates, teammates, etc. the difficulties are this: imagine starting a brand new high school, in a new city, with absolutely no one you know. add the language barrier, a new family and a new country, and you get how hard it is at times. for the first few months, AFS kids are pretty much your life -- my friend Maria (Panama) has become a really good friend in this experience. However, after time, you start making plans, going out, and getting invited out. Lately I've mostly been going out with friends from school, and my temporary (I'm staying with her family for 2.5 weeks while my host family visits my host brother in USA) host sister. I've established a life here ... it'll be hard to leave it.

so that's what is up with me right now. there is so much to life here that sometimes i am lost about what to write about, so if anyone has a question/topic they want me to discuss, let me know(:

jersey shore? not even.

so, blogger screwed up and my original post about exchange week was deleted and not restored ... so that is why it has taken so long to update about my exchange week on the lovely island of sardegna.

Justin and I at the beach(:

my family: i was lucky enough to be placed for the week in the Mereu family, which consists of Vittorio (dad), Stefania (mom), Silvia (sister, 17) and Davide (brother, 8). also staying with us for the week was justin, from hong kong who lives near florence in tuscany(: my family lived in decimomannu, which is about 10 minutes away from cagliari. they were without a doubt one of the best parts of this week exchange as they were accepting and extremely kind, like many people of the south. they took justin and me to different parts of the island, which was amazingly beautiful. after one week this group of wonderful people became like another family to me. there is this quote that one of my friends shared with me: "family isn't always blood. it's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. the ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what." this quote definitely applies to this exchange, as being here i have gained so many sisters and brothers and mothers and fathers. family has no boundaries.

intercultura:
afs sardegna was a little unorganized, and with the cloudy, rainy weather the large part of the week was spent just going with the flow. there were about 20 other students from all over the world (and italy) that came to this week, and together we toured cagliari, ate some disgusting pizza, went to the beach and hiked in the forest. i love hanging out with afs kids because i learn so much about other cultures as well as the italian one. i learned some mandarin, thai and german during this week and made friends with people as close as mexico to as far away as thailand. i was proud of myself because i talked in italian pretty much the entire time, which is hard because it is very tempting to just speak english because everyone here knows it.

other:
the north of italy is very much like america: industrialized, clean and organized, whereas the south is the opposite. they are loud and emotional (not dramatic, but they just display all their emotions for everyone to see), and the cities aren't as nice, mostly because the south is more agricultural than the north. that said, i loved the south. give me crumbling buildings and gorgeous sunsets and i am happy. the south (especially the people) gave off this vibe of raw emotion -- i never had to guess or wonder what someone was feeling, because it was expressed in everything they did. i found the south to be (in a way) a lot more genuine than the north, and a lot more appreciate of life's simple gifts. just a week in sardegna relaxed me thorougly, because that is the way of life. when i asked my host mom after dinner if i could help clear the table, she yawned (they finish dinner at like 10 p.m.), looked over at the table and told me we'd take care of it in the morning. then we went to bed, leaving dirty dishes and uncovered food behind us. this would never happen at my home in aosta or in boise. the south was different from anything i've ever lived in and i loved it the second i stepped off the plane. the gorgeous views and genuine feel of it reminded me of my trip to peru in november or my grandparents house in portugal. it was hard to leave, but i know i'll go back.

that concludes my re-update of exchange week. enjoy the pictures(:

getting through.

i've put off writing about this for a while, but i think i've come to a place that it is the right time to mention it and give future AFSers some advice.

Karl Seyb, a classmate back in Boise passed away in a car accident a couple of weeks ago, and my whole school has pretty much been devastated. he was a friend, a boyfriend, a teammate, a student, a son. he was someone who even if you didn't know him very well, you could count on seeing him walking through the halls with a smile on his face. his premature death is a tragedy that has touched everyone in my school, whether they knew him or not.

when we leave for an AFS experience like this, we all have those moments where we think, "what if something goes wrong back home and someone i know gets sick or hurt or dies?" it is a scary thing, leaving your home and everything/everyone in it. you don't know what will happen, and while for the most part everything is okay, there is always that off-chance that something terrible happens while you are abroad. on the off-chance that something bad does happen, being so far away will leave you with a very lonely feeling. thousands of miles away, all you will want to do is hug your friends and family, tell them how much they mean to you, and mourn among people you love. being away during a tragedy back home is a hard thing ... and it is hard to get through. you feel lonely. you feel homesick. you might have nightmares about the same thing happening to one of your best friends. you will cry. you will feel extremely vulnerable. you will realize that life is short. we all have our own way of dealing with different emotions. i tend to hide them, and deal with them when i am by myself. i tend to shut myself in my room and get on the computer to avoid focusing on how i am really feeling. it is good to have someone to talk to. i've found that when something devastating happens, i can talk to my best friend. always. it doesn't matter what happens, she knows by the look on my face when something is wrong. being in italy though, eight time zones away from your friends and family, you have to learn to deal with hard situations by yourself. talking to your family or best friend on skype or over facebook helps, but you can't just call them up whenever.

the best advice i can give you is to talk to your afs friends. you'll have plenty, and chances are that one of them is going through the same thing. afs friends are your backbone in an experience like this. they support you, confide in you, complain with you, share observations, go adventuring with you, etc. but they also listen to you and give advice. coming here, i never thought i'd become best friends with a girl from panama or have friends from all over the world. they are my everything sometimes. we really are a huge family, and family helps each other out when one of us is down.

death is a hard thing to deal with, especially from a country thousands of miles away.
rely on your afs friends, your family, but most of all, you have to learn to rely on yourself.
always hope and pray for the best, but prepare yourself for the worst.

r.i.p. Karl Seyb

genova; city upon a hill.

have you ever seen Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants? if yes, let's just say that genova, italy is the equivalent of where lena goes in greece. beautiful old buildings, splashed with the warm hues of tuscan yellow, strawberry red, and faded orange litter the hillside filled with green trees, right at the cusp of the mediterranean sea.

maybe i should explain a little. i went to torino to visit my friend emilie, and then we ventured to rivoli, which is a suburb of torino and where emilie lives. after sleeping there, we caught the first train to genova in the morning. two hours later, i was near the sea. my sea. i've always had this thing for ports and the ocean -- maybe it's from growing up in the foothills of idaho, 10 hours or so from the pacific ocean. anyways, we arrived at about ten-thirty in the morning and spent the rest of the day going to the famous acquarium and just randomly exploring the streets of genova. it was magnificent. this is what i absolutely adore about italy; being able to venture from my house in the snow-peaked italian alps to the warm and fishy town of genova in around four hours by train. it is amazing. in italy, they see four hours as a long time to spend traveling anywhere -- little do they know that just to drive to my aunt's house in california takes twelve hours. so i'm not complaining. for me, genova was my italian city upon a hill -- the only place i've been to so far that has been totally diverse from what i ever see in the united states or idaho. it was my italian greece.

anyways, i really loved genova. it is so different from anything i ever see in idaho, and the idea that a friend and i could just decide to take a day trip to a new city is so inspiring, something i will definitely miss about italy. i literally cannot believe i've been here for three months. it really has gone by so fast, and i know the next two months i have will go by a lot faster. before i know it, i'll be back in idaho. sure, i'll have a permanent gelato food baby and wount bee aeble two speel nethng right, but i'll be back in idaho. the idea of going home to AP classes, my job, and college applications is so unappealing. i can't wait to see my family and friends, but after the inital excitement of being back, i don't know what to expect. will i feel more independant? less independant? will i get back into the same routine? do i want to be in the same routine? all these questions await me when i return home, but for now that is all they will be: questions. if there is one thing i've learned from living here, it is that things have a way of straightening themselves out. with that, i leave you with pictures of genova and "happy easter". i'll update about sardegna soon enough(:

ahhh, genova.

me in front of a pirate ship by the acquarium.

the view of genova from the port.

fishies at the famous acquarium(:

general update.

okay, so i've been blogging a lot about events that have been happening to me and not a lot about how everday life is here in aosta. i figure i'd use this post to give kind of a quick update about everything. i am aware most of my posts are pretty long so i figure i will keep this one short(:

family: i was looking through my blog posts and realized that i've said little about my host family. i like my host parents a lot, they are really nice people. being an only child here has certainly been a different experience, and while sometimes it is nice to have attention, i find myself missing my little sister a lot. being here has made me realize how lucky i am to have her, and i look forward to hanging out with her a lot more when i get home. considering some host family horror stories i've heard from fellow afsers, i feel pretty lucky about my host family situation. elena and romano are very kind people and like traveling, gardening, and spending time together. they give me a lot of opportunities to see different parts of valle d'aosta and surrounding places, and i feel lucky to be having a good experience with them.

school: school has gotten a lot better, and within the last week i have started attending english classes in the fourth and fifth grades. i like it because we study british literature; for example, right now we are reading short stories by modernist writer james joyce. i am glad that i have a chance to expand my knowledge of literature and that i have something to study that i actually understand. other than that, i still spend a large part of the day studying out of an italian for foreigners book or attempting to read harry potter in italian. my extra italian tutoring is going well, but my god, verb conjugations are killing me.

friends: i am still trying to find my groove, and i think that it is something that can only improve with time. everyone is super nice to me, but it is just a matter of finding a few really good friends to get close to. i know it is hard for them as well as me, and sometimes i think that maybe they think there isn't much of a point in becoming friends with me because i leave in three months. hopefully this is not the case. don't get me wrong, i have made some good friends, but it's just a matter of starting to hang out more after school that is the problem. as i said, it's only something that can get better. talking to other afs kids assures me that it is something every exchange student goes through, and our whole afs group has become very close because we confide in each other all the time via facebook.

haha, okay, i will stop. so much for keeping this short. what can i say? i like to talk.
in 22 days (yes, i am counting down) i go to sardinia for my exchange week. i'll update again after that(:

just an appearance: exchange week.

as i write this post, i am sorry for not updating in a while. i have been busy: first with exchange week, and then after i got sick with some nasty intestinal bacteria or something. i went to the hospital, which was an adventure in itself, but i am getting better and going back to school tomorrow. other than that, here is a report:

exchange week in aosta. basically two other americans (pascale and karen) that live in the south and one icelandic boy (joe) that lives in the east came to live in aosta for a week. caro, a girl from germany who lives about 30 minutes outside of aosta spent the week down here as well, and together we all spent a week attending the agricultural institute. we learned how to make cheese, visited some sights around valle d'aosta, got into some mischief and overall had a great time. i love getting to meet and making friends with other afsers, because they really are the only ones on the planet who know exactly what you are going through. when you have a bad day, you talk to them. when your host family or school is bugging you, you confide in them. when you miss home, these are the people you talk to. friends and family can help a bit, but they really have no idea the feelings you are having or what you are going through. as much as their sympathy and advice is well-intended, having these people who you are bonded to in a special way is more of a comfort. we all became pretty close as a group this week, and i was sad to see them go. we also headed to torino together, where we shopped, ate, and met up with some other afsers in the area to hang out. this exchange week seemed to be fun for them and made me excited for my own exchange week in cagliari, sardegna at the end of april.

it makes me sad when you bond with people who are only there for a short time, but i guess this is kind of what the whole experience is about. like it or not, i only have 100 days left of this experience (according to another afs friend) and then i am gone. i might never see my host family, my italian friends, or any of my fellow afsers ever again. yes, it is sad, but it is life. if we held on to every contact and kept in touch with everyone we ever met, how would we ever move on? we wouldn't. i've been into these corny sayings ever since i started this trip, but partially because i have seen that they are clichè for a reason: they are true. anyways, i've heard that some people are supposed to be in your life forever, and some are supposed to make an appearance. yes, we could go on and worry and fret about who and when these appearances are made, or we could let them be. accept that sometimes, people leave, and it isn't a good or bad thing. instead of worrying who you are currently friends with or how long your friendship will last, i think we should just focus on what we have to gain from the companionship we are experiencing at the moment. so i might never see some of these people ever again: they are only visited in my memories and lessons learned. my mom has always told me a story of an ordinary stranger making an extraordinary difference in her life, with a short conversation. it isn't about the amount of friendships we have, but what we have learned from the friendships we have lost and the ones that have stayed true.

that is what i am learning, and that is why i came here. not to shop and eat and speak, but to understand in a way staying in boise never could have taught me. sometimes, i am a brat. i want my mommy, a burrito, some sour patch kids. sometimes i think there is something more i could be doing, something more i could learn. but life is a process; a frustrating, embarrassing, nostalgic process. this trip has been a process, and one that certainly hasn't been easy. there have been the ups, the downs, and turn-arounds, but i am just here to ride out the waves and experience the motion-sickness life sometimes brings. after all (i am going to end with another clichè) it isn't always the destination, but the journey.

oranges, bruises, and fulfillment.

oranges. oranges. oranges.
these are the only words that can truly describe my experience at the carnivale d'ivrea yesterday. i headed over to ivrea by train with two afs volunteers and two other intercultura students from the valle d'aosta. we met up with a bunch of other afs students from the piedmont and liguria regions, where i finally got to see my girls emilie (stati uniti) and cami (paraguay). they gave us a brief tour of ivrea, and it was so beautiful. i loved all the water and bridges and everything, it really made me feel like i was in italy. living in aosta is amazing, but at home i live in the mountains as well, so it was nice to go somewhere different for once, and experience a different part of italy. after that, we got to kind of explore on our own, and cami and i got seperated from the rest of our friends, but it didn't bother us. we got some candy and pizza and started exploring ivrea, where we ended up by the river, which was absolutely beautiful. below are some pictures of my fellow afs friends, ivrea, and the carnival before everything got messy.

afterwards we met up with emilie, ingrid and another year exchange student from america and then went over to the piazza, where there was a procession of horses and the carnival princesses and everything. then i gave maria my bag, kept my camera, and cami, ingrid, emilie, and i got ready for the best two hours of our lives.
it started slowly, with a carriage drawn by horses carrying about ten italians wearing pads and helmets into the crowd. then it all went down. oranges were flying every which way, and people were bleeding, holding their black eyes in pain, and having the time of their lives. i figured that i didn't come to italy to hold back, so our badass group of four americans and one paraguayan joined in the madness. we were sloshing through about two inches of oranges, getting hit everywhere, running after the carriages and yelling italian explitives that i won't be including in this blog. emilie was pretty badass, and ended up with a bruised eye and bloody nose, and another girl had a bloody nose. this went on for about two hours, and it was amazing. literally, i have never felt more alive in my entire life then when i was dripping wet from orange juice, with bruises everywhere and an eye that had been hit straight on by an orange when i was taking a picture with a crazy italian man. which is another thing that made this carnival so amazing. while we were waiting for more carriages to arrive, men were congratulating us on our courage and battle wounds. they'd ask us where we are from, we'd reply "STATI UNITI!!!!!" and roar with excitement and adrenaline. they wanted to take a picture with us, and during said picture an orange appeared out of nowhere and socked me straight in the left eye. no bruise has appeared yet, but it hurts. below are some pictures from the madness.

all in all, it was the best day here so far. the adrenaline i felt and the fulfillment throwing oranges at complete strangers was the most undescribable, most inspiring thing ever. i will be coming back for this carnivale again in my life, there is no doubt about that. even though the 2011 has put 4,000 people in the hospital (so far) it has been the best day of my life.
this post was just to cover the carnivale d'ivrea, but i will post on other things a little later, maybe tomorrow. there are some things i need to discuss. until then, i have to go rub ointment on my bruises. ciao.

being on exchange is like being bipolar.

what i am about to write about isn't easy, both because i have a lot of pride and also because it is difficult to explain. i promised myself, however, that in this blog i would give the full account of what being an exchange student was like, and that is what i intend to do. so just hang in there with me during this post, okay?

i never thought that leaving my home of 17 years for a totally new place filled with a new language and new people would be easy, but maybe i didn't realize how hard it truly would be, and how much it tests every single part of me that i know. there are days when i am on top of the world, hanging out with friends, experiencing new things, eating new foods. there are also days when i am frustrated with doing nothing at school, can't understand someone, or just want to hug my mom or joke around with my dad. on an exchange, you don't know what the next day is going to bring. and that is the truth. i find that you just have to take it one day at a time. i've had a few bad days where i would love to just be alone. but that isn't the point of moving thousands of miles away, is it? you've got to push push push out of your comfort zone and create a new zone that you learn to be comfortable in. sometimes you've got to just know that tomorrow is a new day and just start over. take it day by day. that's really the only advice i can give future afsers, and it really is the best advice out there.

so other than that, italy has been great. i've been going on walks/runs everyday to try and get some air and get out of the house. at school, i get bored learning italian out of a book all the time, so i either write college/scholarship essays, listen to my iPod, or daydream. such is life, i guess. i've been skiing a lot, eating a lot, and shopping even more. even though the dollar-euro exchange rate really sucks, i've been finding deals. i think i'll have to buy like a bajillion suitcases to haul everything back to america. next week i have a week of break, thank god. on tuesday i get to go to the carnivale d'ivrea with a bunch of other afs students, which i am really looking forward to.

this weekend i went to brusson (a little mountain village about an hour from aosta) with maria and her family, and we got to watch these villagers make this bread, which was a cool process to watch, and the picture is below. every town here is so beautiful, but in a way that they all remind me of sun valley. i am super excited to travel to another part of italy next week: i want to try and experience as many different parts of this country as i can in four more months.

so there you have it, and update on the last day of february. i can't believe it has already been a month that i have been here in aosta. it's gone by so fast it really is crazy. i won't lie, i cannot wait until school is over. i really want the winter to be over, and for the sun to come out. life here is good: it has it's ups, it's downs, it's in-betweens, but such is life.

skiing in the alps, among other things.

as you can probably tell, i went skiing. in the italian alps. from the top of a mountain 9,100 feet high. oh my god. it was so scary! haha, but i only fell once (and instead of helping me up, my host father took pictures) and it was at the bottom, so it doesn't count. we hit up a ski resort named pila, which is about 15 minutes away from aosta via sky tram. it was a super big mountain, with tons of people and tons of trails. i am getting better at skiing already, and i always try to look super BAMF while shreddin' some sick powder on the hill. i usually just end up looking stupid, but below are some photos in any case(:

this week was also a big get-things-organized week. i am setting a budget to control my spending, because i'd like to not be totally broke when i come home, and writing lists up the wazoo. literally, you should see my journal. i am also getting out of the house more, and started exploring aosta as the weather got better this week. i went on a walk down the hill to the liceo agricolturo, and what takes 5 minutes in a car took me an hour on foot. but i didn't mind. i was too busy being my normal tourist self and taking tons of pictures. there are some of them below. anyways, i am going to go an a walk every day as the weather permits -- the view never gets old! plus it is a fun way to work off this six pack of pasta i've got going. haha, so other than that i am changing a few things around with school -- getting out of french and adding more p.e. or italian. thank god, because french was giving me a headache. italy is really ahead of the states in terms of emphasizing language in school. all the kids in my class are a year younger than me and are already practically trilingual, with a huge knowledge of latin! i really wish america put more of an emphasis on foreign language in public schools, starting from a younger age. instead, we take useless subjects like typing class and technical reading. ugh.

other than that, everything is going really well. i am learning so much italian so fast it is really crazy. i am able to carry on a conversation in italian now, i just have to perfect my grammer and learn more vocabulary, and then i am fluent! haha, not really, but i am doing really really well. my afs friend emilie (living near turin) is visiting me in aosta sometime next month, and i am going to genova soon with my region. also, i get to attend the orange-throwing madness that is the carnivale d'ivrea on march 8th, pictures sure to follow. oh, and one last little thing? i learned how to make fresh pasta. no big deal, picture is below. ciao ciao(:

mio cervello è morta stanca.

mio dio. being on exchange is the best thing i have ever done in my life, but it sure does tire the heck out of a person. every day i come home from school and after listening, reading, writing and talking (a little!) italian, my brain is ready to explode. then i also have italian tutoring that just started up, and that is frustrating as well. it is really difficult learning how to speak italian when you are being taught in italian. don't get me wrong, i don't dislike being here for a minute, but i'd be lying if i said it was easy.
one day when maria and i were buying gelato, the vendor asked me something and i agreed, not knowing what she had said (turns out she was asking if i wanted whipped cream). afterwards i turned and said to maria, "you know, i think that sometimes that is half the fun -- not knowing what you are getting." i think that really applies to this exchange. there are things you have control over, like what country you go to and what you pack, and there are things you don't have control of: your host family, school, language barries, and new home are all up to chance. you have to adapt to them, because they won't adapt to you; much like the world won't adapt to your needs. this has been a lesson learned both by this experience and numerous conversations with my dad before i left (see dad, i do listen). for me, i tend to over-analyze and plan everything, so letting go and letting god (yes, that is an alcoholics anonymous saying, but i like it nonetheless) has been a good difference for me.
as we say at boise high, "go big or go home." i've gone big, letting go of some control and gaining flexibility along the way. as for going home? not a chance. the thing i've learned is, "home" is what you make of the place you are in your life. going back doesn't always mean you are going home, because it is where the heart is. my heart right now (physically and figuratively) is in italy. so to go home? i'm already here.

cogne, chamonix, compleanno, and cheesy pizza(:

i don't know how people who write blogs only post every other month, because there is so much that i have to tell everyone! first off, i have got to talk about the pizza here in italy! it is literally the best thing i have ever tasted in my entire life. i went out on saturday night with maria and a couple friends, and they took us to this very cute little pizzaria in aosta, by the piazza. there you order your own personal pizza, but the personal pizzas here in italy are as big as a medium group pizza in america. so, maria and i split a margherita. not the alcoholic beverage, the type of pizza. the guys, being guys, each wolfed down one of their own, which was very impressive. hanging out with friends in a new place was really amazing, and it totally topped of an amazing first week abroad. then it was sunday, my first and only day off of school, and i slept in while my pal maria went nordic skiing for her first time in cogne. later, me, mia momma e mia nonna drove up to cogne, walked around and met with maria and her parents. i attempted to nordic ski. i kind of failed, and definitely prefer downhill skiing. cogne definitely was beautiful though, as the below pictures demonstrate.

then, yesterday, i turned seventeen. it was hard being away from my family for my birthday, since it was the first birthday we spent apart. but it was still amazing. first, i went shopping a few days before with my host momma, and she got me this really beautiful scarf and cute boots, and then maria and her family gave me this purple wallet, which is tres chic(: then i went to school, assuming no one would know about my birthday. i was wrond. everyone knew! they even brought drinks, baked a cake, and threw me a little party. it really was the best surprise ever, and i was touched by all the thought that went into it(: afterwards, i went to lunch with my host parents at my dad's hotel and ate amazing ravioli with cherry gelato. then, as the best part of my birthday, we went with my nonna to chamonix, france. we toured chamonix and i took tons of pictures. it was actually kind of funny because when my mom was younger (so a long time ago) and backpacking through europe, she was touring chamonix when she turned 21, and i was touring the city when i turned 17. we went to birthday dinner at this restaurant and had such an amazing meal! there is this kind of cheesy fondue where you heat the cheese, tilt it, and scrape off all the melted cheese on to a plate to eat with bread, meat and potatoes. c'è delicioso! below are some photos of chamonix(:

anyways, those were pretty much the highlights of the week. i am still clueless in school, but learning more and more italian every single day. tomorrow i go ice skating with my class, and saturday i am going shopping with maria and then who knows what else. haha, i am loving it here so much, i dread the day when i have to go back to boise. even though my brain is overwhelmed with italian and exhausted at the end of every school day, i wouldn't change a single thing(: until next time, ciao ciao!

ahhhh, aosta.

words cannot describe how amazing it is here. every day i look out my window and cannot believe how lucky i am. i know i have a lot to catch everyone up on, so here we go!

1. orientation. i met so many amazing people, both in new york and in roma. there were 23 of us americans going to italy, and we bonded tremendously as a group, in only two or three days. other than getting to know my fellow afsers, orientation was so boring. all they talked about was why we would be sent home, and what not to do, along with other rules, rules, rules. ughhhh, by the end we were all very ready to get to our home cities. most of us were going up north, some in the middle (tuscany) and some down south. because we got to orientation in rome late, we didn't get to tour the city, which sucked. but other than that, orientation was fine, considering that we were all sleep-deprived and nervous. below are some photos of me with fellow americans in roma(:

2. aosta and fiera di sant'orso. when i arrived in aosta, there was the biggest festival of the year going on, to celebrate saint orso. there was a lot of news coverage of the festival, but i was lucky enough to be able to visit the festival. there were a lot of teens, and i got to meet some friends that go to my school, elisa and mark. i went to the fiera on sunday night with elena (my host mother) and gabrielle (my host grandmother). aosta was very beautiful with the lights on at night. then the next day we met up with maria (a fellow AFSer in aosta with me from panama) and toured the festival some more, which was amazing. we also visited the roman theatre ruins (built in 25 b.c. btdub) and ate some traditional italian food -- meats and a kind of cheesy corn mix called polenta. i didn't like the polenta, but everything else has been amazing. below are photos of the fiera.

3. school. oh gosh, my first day was today, and it was so scary. no one speaks english, and i was so nervous! they placed me in classe 2C, which is basically the italian 10th grade, so not so bad. my block schedule is very different, and i only had two classes today: math and italian/latin. tomorrow i have science, french literature, and drawing. maria and i aren't in the same class, not even the same building! i am in a building 10 minutes away by the piazza, which was a downer at first. then i learned that elisa was in my building, so it is wayy better now. i am very excited because three days a week i get out at noonish, and the other three at 1:20. my classmates are very very nice, and even though i don't understand them, i like them already. it is so different, school is. more social yet more respectful at the same time. one big difference is how expensive school supplies are. i bought two pens for 4£!!! i can't think of anything else concerning school, other than it is really hard right now. and latin? don't even get me started. it is very hard to learn a language when you are being taught in a different language. hahaha.

even though i speak basically no italian at all, my understanding has improved drastically within only a few days. with 40 hours of italian tutoring to complete, i have no doubt that i will be fluent by time i leave in july. my advice to future AFSers? learn as much as you can before you go, especially if you are on a summer program like one of you who contacted me is (nice to hear from you, mary!). other than that, no news. well, okay, i am heading to chamonix, france for my 17th birthday next tuesday, coincidentally where my mother spent her 21st birthday. haha, until later. ciao ciao! (:

p.s. here is one more picture, of aosta outside my bedroom window(:

leavin' on a jet plane...

okay, so i leave approximately 42 hours from now, and i am so excited. my stuff is packed, good-byes are (mostly) said, and i am so ready to go. i have a few loose strings to tie up, but other than a room to clean and papers to get organized, i am done. this semester is over, and so is my time here in boise. i have been awaiting this experience to start for so long that i can almost not believe it is finally here.

the reason i am blogging this early is because i doubt i will have time to for the next couple weeks. on wednesday i travel from boise to new york, where i have a short one day orientation. i then go through zurich and end up in rome the next day. needless to say, it will be one long 48 hours. from rome i have a two day orientation where all the afs participants from all over the world congregate and get ready to start their adventures. i then take the train from rome to turin, meeting my host family at the station and driving to aosta. whew! that was tiring just writing all that down, but i am cringing at the thought of having to do it. can't i just teleport and be there in 5 minutes? ugh.

i am sure this whole experience of getting there will be a daze, and i am sure i will be so in awe of the wonderful land we call italy that i will forget half of what i am doing. note to self: try to keep your wits about you, even though not all your wits were there in the first place. i start school the day after i get to aosta, which also happens to be the same day as the fiera di sant'orso. ahhhh, what wonder and beauty will i experience. let's just hope i am awake enough to enjoy it(:

that's pretty much it for now, i just wanted to explain why i won't be blogging for a while. looking back at my first post five months ago, the nostalgia is overwhelming me. next time i will be posting from aosta. wish me luck, and send me mental waves of energy; i'll need it!

going away partayyyy.

so last night my best friend threw me a going away party at her house, with about twenty of our closest friends there to celebrate my soon imminent departure. there was sparkling cider, lasagna, amazing red velvet cookies and a few presents, which were very much appreciated. i am so humbled that i have so many amazing friends to wish me a good-bye, and it was amazing knowing that i am going to be missed. i can't even begin to describe how hard it is going to be leaving everyone, especially my best friend in the entire world. allie, if you are reading this, know that i love you so much and i will miss you every day i am in aosta. not seeing you for six months might kill me, but i know you will be fine. and to everyone else who came and said good-bye, you know who you are, and hopefully you know how much i appreciate each and every one of you.

that said, i have nine days until i get on a plane to new york and leave boise for six months. god, i am so excited, words cannot even explain -- leaving will be hard, but moving on to such an amazing new life makes me the luckiest person in the world. would it be bad for me to say that i am already packed? because i am. final weigh-in of my check-in bag: 40 lbs. which is four pounds under the limit by the way.

so what is in store for the next nine days? school finals, many good-byes and lots of tears. after nine days? well i guess that is for me to know and you to find out(:

pre-departure + new year.

got my pre-departure orientation done today, which was good. we basically went over all the rules and safety procedures of AFS (no smoking, no driving, no having a job, no getting pierced/tattooed) and then i just talked with a past exchange student from rome. he was super helpful and gave me some insight into how italian schools are. apparently the workload is more than i expected, but with so many classes, it makes sense.

now with my plane tickets to new york taken care of, all my host family info in, and my orientations done, i just have a few loose ends to tie up, like writing my scholarship thank you letter and getting another physical.
the lady i had the orientation with gave me a great idea for fund-raising; i put together a newsletter every month that i sell subscriptions to my friends, family and neighbors for. the newsletter has special pictures, experiences and details of my journey abroad, and the subscription money helps me fun my cause. if you are interested in subscribing to this newsletter, just e-mail me. (contact info is on the sidebar).

other than that, i am so excited. i've got three weeks of school left and 26 days until i head to new york. a month from yesterday i will be arriving in aosta, and a month from today i will be starting at my new italian school.

buon anno italia e stati uniti(: