mio dio. being on exchange is the best thing i have ever done in my life, but it sure does tire the heck out of a person. every day i come home from school and after listening, reading, writing and talking (a little!) italian, my brain is ready to explode. then i also have italian tutoring that just started up, and that is frustrating as well. it is really difficult learning how to speak italian when you are being taught in italian. don't get me wrong, i don't dislike being here for a minute, but i'd be lying if i said it was easy.
one day when maria and i were buying gelato, the vendor asked me something and i agreed, not knowing what she had said (turns out she was asking if i wanted whipped cream). afterwards i turned and said to maria, "you know, i think that sometimes that is half the fun -- not knowing what you are getting." i think that really applies to this exchange. there are things you have control over, like what country you go to and what you pack, and there are things you don't have control of: your host family, school, language barries, and new home are all up to chance. you have to adapt to them, because they won't adapt to you; much like the world won't adapt to your needs. this has been a lesson learned both by this experience and numerous conversations with my dad before i left (see dad, i do listen). for me, i tend to over-analyze and plan everything, so letting go and letting god (yes, that is an alcoholics anonymous saying, but i like it nonetheless) has been a good difference for me.
as we say at boise high, "go big or go home." i've gone big, letting go of some control and gaining flexibility along the way. as for going home? not a chance. the thing i've learned is, "home" is what you make of the place you are in your life. going back doesn't always mean you are going home, because it is where the heart is. my heart right now (physically and figuratively) is in italy. so to go home? i'm already here.
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