getting through.

i've put off writing about this for a while, but i think i've come to a place that it is the right time to mention it and give future AFSers some advice.

Karl Seyb, a classmate back in Boise passed away in a car accident a couple of weeks ago, and my whole school has pretty much been devastated. he was a friend, a boyfriend, a teammate, a student, a son. he was someone who even if you didn't know him very well, you could count on seeing him walking through the halls with a smile on his face. his premature death is a tragedy that has touched everyone in my school, whether they knew him or not.

when we leave for an AFS experience like this, we all have those moments where we think, "what if something goes wrong back home and someone i know gets sick or hurt or dies?" it is a scary thing, leaving your home and everything/everyone in it. you don't know what will happen, and while for the most part everything is okay, there is always that off-chance that something terrible happens while you are abroad. on the off-chance that something bad does happen, being so far away will leave you with a very lonely feeling. thousands of miles away, all you will want to do is hug your friends and family, tell them how much they mean to you, and mourn among people you love. being away during a tragedy back home is a hard thing ... and it is hard to get through. you feel lonely. you feel homesick. you might have nightmares about the same thing happening to one of your best friends. you will cry. you will feel extremely vulnerable. you will realize that life is short. we all have our own way of dealing with different emotions. i tend to hide them, and deal with them when i am by myself. i tend to shut myself in my room and get on the computer to avoid focusing on how i am really feeling. it is good to have someone to talk to. i've found that when something devastating happens, i can talk to my best friend. always. it doesn't matter what happens, she knows by the look on my face when something is wrong. being in italy though, eight time zones away from your friends and family, you have to learn to deal with hard situations by yourself. talking to your family or best friend on skype or over facebook helps, but you can't just call them up whenever.

the best advice i can give you is to talk to your afs friends. you'll have plenty, and chances are that one of them is going through the same thing. afs friends are your backbone in an experience like this. they support you, confide in you, complain with you, share observations, go adventuring with you, etc. but they also listen to you and give advice. coming here, i never thought i'd become best friends with a girl from panama or have friends from all over the world. they are my everything sometimes. we really are a huge family, and family helps each other out when one of us is down.

death is a hard thing to deal with, especially from a country thousands of miles away.
rely on your afs friends, your family, but most of all, you have to learn to rely on yourself.
always hope and pray for the best, but prepare yourself for the worst.

r.i.p. Karl Seyb